The World’s Gone Bonkers.
If the world feels like a sh*t show right now, this isn’t a call to look away — it’s an invitation to look more precisely. The world feels louder, sharper, more unhinged — but what disturbs you most isn’t random. The world isn’t just chaotic. It’s reflective. What you notice is telling you something. This field note explores why attention is diagnostic, not accidental, and why personal coherence is a civic act.
Why Capable Women Lose Access to Desire
Desire doesn’t disappear with a bang. It fades under competence, responsibility, and a life that functions but doesn’t quite move. For many capable women, the problem isn’t clarity — it’s capacity.
They don’t lose desire because they’re unmotivated. They lose it because their nervous systems have learned to prioritise function over authorship. When life becomes something to manage rather than create, wanting starts to feel unsafe — and quietly goes offline.
This essay reframes regulation not as calm, but as power, and shows why desire returns only when the nervous system can hold more than survival.
You Don’t Need More Self-Awareness. You Need More Capacity.
Nervous system regulation isn’t calm — it’s capacity.
It’s the ability to stay present with desire, change, and sensation without collapsing, numbing, or reverting to survival patterns. Regulation is what allows clarity, authorship, and real power to land.